"Forgiveness a required course"- C.Swindoll

I have struggled greatly with developing this message. The reason being because it is so practical and needed in our lives. So much so I couldn’t even decide on one Title for the Message.

True Marks of a Mature Christian

The Evidence of Sanctification

Love in Action

A response to the gospel message.

Forgiveness: A required Course in God’s University.

My favorite has to be the last one. Whenever we are matriculated in school, there are electives, and there are requisites. Electives are optional, but requisites are a required course. God has a school for his saints, and He has carefully chosen the classes to teach. He is our Professor, and as a Professor he has tailored each class to our personality, our competence, our maturity. Just like mathematics, we all take it but there are different levels to it. And if you fail it, you have to retake it or else you wont pass to the following grade.

Forgiveness: A Required course.

Now as you probably can already tell. From my previous titles, I plan to speak about the fruit of the Spirit in Us. I believe its an important subject, and one that I would love to hear more about. Its so important that even Jesus told us that we would be identified by our fruits. Our fruits are NOT

our gifts

our talents

how we sing

how we preach

if we speak in tongues

if we dance in the Spirit

The Fruit of the Spirit is the evidence of Christ living in you. And being formed in you. Paul goes through a set of rhetorical questions. Are all apostles, are all teaches, have all been given the gist of healing, gifts of tongues. The obvious answer is No. And he contrasts this with the fruit of the Spirit. Which we all have. Now we have to have a fertile ground so the HS can cultivate it in us. but if the ground isn't fertile, how can it grow?

Before I begin, I would like to share a small testimony. I was married in September 2013, my daughter Amirah was born in 2015. When I got married, I was congratulated, and encouraged by a many people. In church, at work, in my family. In 2015, my first daughter was born Amirah. I received so much support, and many phone calls and many advice from many people. But there was one person missing. My Father. In the hospital as I was holding my daughter, during my wedding day deep down I felt an emptiness. A fathers advice, a father’s encouragement. Thank God for my mom though. A strong woman of prayer, and of faith. She encouraged me, she prayed for me, she counseled me.

One day i noticed that the seed of bitterness had gown into a trunk of resentment. And one day as I was doing laundry in NJ. Somewhere between 2015-2016. I decide to call my Dad, and ask for forgiveness. It was the shortest phone call in human history. I asked for forgiveness. He said OK, he hung up. I’ll finish the story later on.

The letter to Philemon was written by the Apostle Paul. It’s only 25 verses. I would like to share some thoughts and teachings from the NT letter.

What do we know about Philemon. We know that he had a church in his house. The letter is addressed to him, Appia, Archippus, and the church. Some believe that Appia was Philemon’s wife, and Archippus was Philemon’s son. We know that Paul had been encouraged by the ministry of Philemon. We read how Philemon had a ministry of hospitality. We read that it had brought much joy and comfort to the saints, and to Paul himself. We read of this ministry in the Bible. Romans 12:6-8 “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” 1 Peter 4:9-10 “Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Paul describes this ministry as one that refreshes the hearts of the saints including himself. The word refresh, is an interesting choice of words. But it describes perfectly the type of ministry that Philemon had. It refreshes. It challenges me to ask myself

Do I bring refreshment to those around me?

Refresh: AnaPavo in Greek. Which means to revive or to rest. Relief. What comes to mind is Psalm 42 “For the choir director. A Maskil of the sons of Korah. As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival. Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him For the help of His presence. O my God, my soul is in despair within me; Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will …”

It reminds me of the water that God provides to a soul that wanders in the desert.

We don’t know much about Onesimus. We do know that he was a runaway slave, and he is also mentioned in Colossians. We read that Onesimus has wronged Philemon. We can deduce that by the providence of God, Onesimus has met Paul, and has been converted. And has even ministered to Paul. So much so that Paul wants him to stay with him, but wont allow it. He decides that he wants to send him back. He realizes that there is a bigger picture. Reconciliation. Something has happened to Philemon, and Onesimus. Paul is interceding for Onesimus as his own Son. He pleas for him. He implores to Philemon on behalf of love.

To fully understand this reason that Paul gives, He reminds Philemon where God called you from. Which is where I would like to take all of us today. To remind us of the beautiful gift of redemption God has bestowed on us. And how comprehending this will lead us into Forgiveness.

The issue is understanding sin and God’s wrath. Ephesians 2:3 “Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.” We were children of wrath, we were dead in trespasses in sin. God’s wrath is His revulsion against evil. His settled displeasure, with sin and sinners. God’s anger cannot and should not be compared to human wrath. It’s not temper tantrums, or mood swings. Its the hate that God has toward sin, and sinners. The Bible states, there isn’t one that searches for God, not one who is righteous. We all fall short of the glory of God. This message hurts. It hurts because we realize that we have sinned against a holy God. A Righteous God, a Just God. John Bunyan in the Pilgrims Progress expresses it as a burden. He states that as he read the book his lips trembled, crying and shouting what should I do. ?! Acts 2:37-41 “Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brethren, what shall we do?” Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. “For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself.” And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying, “Be saved from this perverse generation!” So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls.” When Peter spoke these words the HS had brought conviction to the hearts of the men, so much so that they were pierced in the hearts, and asking Peter what should we do? Paul had a deep sense of his sin. He called himself the worst of sinners. David in Psalm 51 knew that his sin was ever before him. he needed to be purified. He understood that he needed a new heart. He didn’t ask God to fix the old one. He says Lord, create in me a new heart. David’s fractured relationship with God felt as painful as broken bones. Psalm 51:8 “Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.”

All this interesting because even in the pagan religion people would appease the gods with sacrifices. To stop the gods from being angry or displeased with them. The beauty of the gospel message is that God Himself provides the sacrifice that needed to be delivered. It was the Lord all along bring us to him with cords of love and mercy. For God so Love the world that He gave…The Love of God gives. The Love of God sacrifices. The Love of God forgives. That’s why Paul says in Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?”

Because God is for us! Who can accuse us. Who can bring accusations against us??! Death is no longer an executioner, he is a gardener. Death has lost its sting. God has washed us white, He has taken the accusations and ripped them up. He publicly humiliated the enemy while Jesus was on the cross. Now Peace, and grace, and forgiveness have been freely given to us. Colossians 2:14 “having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

We need to comprehend the depths of Gods grace. We should never stop being amazed at the grace of God in our lives brethren. We need to look upon the cross of Christ and be amazed at the grace of God.

The benefits of forgiveness:

without forgiveness there is no future. Philemon 16 “no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.” forgiveness will restore past relationships.

forgiveness produces joy and comfort…not only for you but for those around you. Paul felt this way may a times. We can see this clearly in the parable describing the prodigal son and the love of the Father in Luke 15:21-24 ““And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.” .

The Father clothes him with the best robe, ring, and sandals. What stuck out was the use of sandals. Sandals in that time were marks of a free man. Slaves would be barefoot. And just imagining the picture of Philemon returning to Philemon’s household is a mirror image of the parable of the prodigal son. I can picture it now. Appia, Archippus, and Philemon waiting for Onesimus. Each one of them runs to meet Onesimus and embraces him.

The perils of un-forgiveness:

Matthew 18:23-35 ““For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. “When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. “So when his fellow slaves s…” No where can we see this clearer than in the parable that Jesus explains. The person who can’t forgive is a person who really doesn’t understand the depths of God’s forgiveness. The older brother in the parable was also concerned with vengeance and not grace. Un-forgiveness will breed contempt, and hatred and a lack of mercy for other people.

The mandate to forgive: Paul in Philemon 19 “I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it (not to mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well).” mentions that we need to forgive. Forgiveness is linked to obedience. It’s a responsive action. It’s defined in the Bible as not just knowing what to do but doing it. Its about who you are. Love is the essence, and the result is forgiveness. I obey because I love. These 2 are inseparable. It is possible to obey without love. Maybe you obey out of self interest, or pride, or self righteousness. But it is impossible to love and not obey. We obey on the basis of our love. Love is always decision. We learn this by reading John 3:16 ““For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

***One thing to keep in mind: is that the letter to Philemon teaches us many things. One of which is that today you may be a Philemon needing to forgive someone else who maybe doesn’t deserve it, but tomorrow you may be the Onesimus who is pleading for it… This will keep you sober minded, and humble in your assessment. We didn’t deserve anything but hell, and misery. But God, But God, But for the grace of God. He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.

How can I love someone who keeps breaking promises?

Why should you forgive someone who doesn’t ask for it?

Why should you forgive if you are the one who was wronged?

Must I forgive someone who is out to destroy me?

All of these questions are valid, and proper. All I have to say is look to the Cross ! Look at my Jesus who hung there for you and me.

Jesus first cry was to forgive them for they know not what they do. The Greek text implies that He kept repeating Father forgive them, every nail, every whip, every punch…He would repeat Father forgive them. Keep in mind He prayed this as He was being crucified, not after. He never waited for the wounds to heal. In spite of the wounds, He was able to forgive and pray for forgiveness. He was able to speak to His Father, while being crucified because He trusted the Father. Do we trust the Father during our injustice? God isn’t alien to pain. He is able to sympathize with us. The wrath of God that Jesus took was our punishment. It was the cup in Gethsemane, that was meant for me and for you. But Jesus said I’ll take it. The injustice did not waiver His confidence in the Father. He could have come down from the cross, the reason He didn't come down were not the nails but His Love. Crucifixion was meant to be long and intense.

**The goal of forgiveness is reconciliation. Of course if one party will not cede. Forgive, and hadn it over to the Lord, but let go of the baggage. A good example is the attack on 9/11, the suicide bombers died then and there, the families of the deceased. What do they do? the grief they live with is a process. The attackers neither asked for forgiveness and how could they? But your responsibility is to hand it over to God so He can start to heal you. 1 Peter 2:23 “and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;” Entrust yourself to Him.

Remember forgiveness is the first step, ultimately reconciliation is needed. But you have to take the first step of forgiving. Counseling may have to take place, and time. Time is something you can’t rush. Just let it take it’s course.

We all have traumas, some worse more than others but all important and near to the Father’s heart. And it doesn’t matter if your 12 or 82, if you haven’t learned to forgive, the Lord wants to help you. He wants to heal those wounds. There are things inside that have to be dealt with. You cant keep avoiding it. You have to confront them. Never Alone. You have men and women here who love God, You have the Pastor, you have His WORD, you have the HS. But there are things you have to do that no one else can do for you. We can pray, we can do al that. But ultimately is trusting God and forgiving so that process of healing can take place. If not, it will creep in your relationships if your dating, it will creep in your marriages, it will creep in how you raise your kids, how you treat your wife, how you work, how you serve the Lord, how you serve in church. There are no heroes here. The only hero is Jesus. We are all wounded from battle. He offers rest.